On Limerence and New Relationship Energy (NRE)

The two terms both encompass passionate feelings for another. Both involve the very process of “falling in love”, but the two are seldom intertwined and it is not well known that the two do indeed exist.
Both involve a process known as “crystallization”, which involves the “mental metamorphosis” that an individual undergoes while falling in love.

	This process is usually begun through an admiration of a new-found love interest. Traits that are deemed desirable are immediately acknowledged and lingered upon, often to the extent where other, undesirable traits are barely even noticed or possibly ignored totally. Secondly, the individual recognizes that they have gained the interest of their beloved (if it occurs, which often happens after conversation paired with mutual interpersonal attraction). The beloved's intentions are disputed in the mind of the one undergoing crystallization, which leads to the 3rd stage: hope. There is a great hope, indeed, and here the individual begins to long for their beloved. The final stage is often experienced alongside the hopeful phase. The hope grows stronger through the delight simply derived from overrating the individual; they are viewed as the ultimate companion. 

Limerence:
Limerence, a term coined by Dorothy Tennov, is used to describe the “involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person”. It is experienced by most people, and it happens once or twice in their lives, on average.

This often starts out in a rosy, happy feeling, a part of crystallization. Limerence is unique in it's intensity, duration, and it's components – the most obvious one being intrusive thoughts about the limerent object (the beloved). These usually become apparent shortly after meeting the new love interest, and these thoughts can be described as involuntary, persistent thoughts about a person. In essence, you can't stop thinking about them, even if you try. Thoughts about unrelated matters suddenly become linked to the limerent object – they are a part of the thought in some way, shape or form. This often makes some logical sense, as they are often pictured  “in that place,” or “doing that activity”. Whatever you happen to be thinking about, they are involved. During this stage of limerence, the individual will find that fantasy about the limerence object as being highly pleasurable, often to the extent that other activities are less interesting, unless they are either done in the company of the limerent object, or if they will aid in the attainment of the limerent object's affections. These fantasy thoughts are seldom sexual in nature, and often focus more on platonic activity. The goal is not to have sex with this person, but to win their affection and achieve a sense of unity with this person. Mutuality leads to ecstasy. When in the presence of the limerent object, an experience very similar to fight-or-flight is experienced. Heart palpitations, anxiety (stems from fear of rejection and a fear of error, which will potentially affect the disposition of the limerent object), sweating, stammering, awkwardness, and other signs of norepinephrine (noradrenaline). When reflecting upon past interactions with the limerent object, there is a constant analysis of dialogue. Signs of reciprocation are constantly analyzed for meaning, and false hopes may be invented at this point. Limerence will continue to thrive in it's hopeful, passionate state until reciprocation is proven or if reciprocation is proven not to exist. At this point, the individual will take one of two paths: euphoria, or despair. If reciprocated, feelings lessen in intensity and they are replaced with a more stable form of romantic love, or they may be replaced with negative feelings.

If not, the individual will often enter a prolonged stage of grief, as though the life of a loved one has been lost. Sadness is quite real, despite irrational passion. Limerence continues, and it will continue until there is no longer any subconscious hope of reciprocation (takes quite a while, often up to 2 years), or if the person becomes limerent over someone else. Intrusive thoughts at this point are deemed unpleasant and can be quite agonizing. 

Limerence is a powerful journey, and it is more than “having a crush”. It is the ultimate form of romantic love, involving total devotion.

New Relationship Energy:
This term coined by the polyamorous community, used to describe the passionate feelings when a new relationship may occur. This is what we are often refering to when we use the word “crush”. It too involves crystallization, but it is less intense than limerence, and is experienced by nearly everyone (99%) and happens in most relationships. Crystallization occurs as well, along with the rosy sensation. When feelings are realized, a hope for reciprocation does appear. However, unlike limerence, there is less anxiety and a greater degree of comfort. Openness is not inhibited, and communication is easier. Passion, instead of being fueled by uncertainty and hope (as in limerence), is fueled by intimacy. This intimacy occurs through friendship, and manifests itself as it would in any other friendship, but in the form of romantic passion. If reciprocation is evident, the feelings actually grow stronger and a powerful romantic bond forms. If reciprocation is not evident, feelings subside quickly, but can be rekindled through further communication and friendship.
Unlike limerence, NRE can be felt for many people at a time. 

NRE generally finds itself in nearly romantic relationship, and it does intertwine with limerence in terms of components. The most notable difference is that limerence can cause shyness, while NRE can cause openness.

Both are powerful experiences...romantic love is often refered to as “the reason for living” with little need to dispute; there is greater dopamine involved in romantic love than in any other. The ventral tegmental area behaves in the exact same manner as it does when the user is using cocaine. The excitement and happiness is undoubtedly succeeded by no other activity.  The most euphoric highs and most anguished lows lie ahead.